Put those hands in the air, people!

Life's Good Things (Excerpt)

Listening to Crystal Cat over a pizza dinner, my daughter (8) told me she needs to meet Dan Deacon so he can teach her how to do "the high voice thing" on a microphone.

The transcendental experience of a Google Image Search for "ugly fish."

The quiet talent that is Timothy Willis Sanders. If you live near Austin, you should grab a drink with him. If you run a press, you should publish him. If you are him, you should write more and more.

This summer's crop of baseball themed summer beers (see Victory Summer Love).

***

We can't unfold.

What the hell is wrong?

I've got my Ray Bans on.

I've got my spray tan on.

I was born James and stayed James all of a few hours.

I love the morning.

Science. When you are really doing it, you know you'll make something important enough to be proven wrong someday
Just like records will be broken or
Records will be replaced by CDs will be replaced by

Gravity's gotta get got, is what I'm saying.

The constants are getting got, right?

This will never happen again, but the Doll House lives on.

We've built our business model on the fact that every day, somewhere in the world, there is a culture turning modern for the first time.

***

Writing an old fashioned "blog is short for web log, don't you know it" post.

Voodoo Sonnet

XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX

XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX

XXX
XXX
XXX
XXX

XXX
XXX

---

I was on jury duty in Baltimore yesterday, and for the first time actually ended up serving on a jury. It was a relatively simple case, but even a simple case isn't simple I guess. I'll have more to say about it -- maybe over drinks rather than here.

Anyway, during one of the "counsel and judge chats" when the white machine noise is going and we're supposed to actively not listen to what the parties are discussing, I was doodling to pass the time and suddenly I was doodling triple Xs.

I started thinking of Marie Laveau's crypt in New Orleans, St. Louis Cemetery #1 -- which I visited years ago in Katrina's aftermath. And then I was thinking about New Orleans in general. And then, covering things with Xs. Lots of things.

And I was thinking about how the Xs would work with syllable counts... should a Voodoo Haiku be
XXX XX
XXX XXX X
XXX XX

or

XXX
XXX
XXX

Would it have to do with pronouncing "X"? Is there any meaning to the "X" when it isn't part of "XXX"? What other forms would mean something -- in the way "sonnet" means something (and actually means so much to me) or "haiku" means something (certainly, though less than "sonnet" for me)?

There you have it. And I'll certainly think about it more someday. And maybe when I get back to New Orleans, I can scrawl it on Laveau's crypt. Or if you are closer, you could.

Submission 2 (for Joe Young)

I wrote a poem called "Submission."

Submission

I wrote a flash fiction piece called "Submission."

I'm Allowed to Be Happy with Me

My friend, partner, and not-often-enough collaborator Justin Sirois is curating Everyday Genius for the month of May. He decided people should write responses to animated GIFs and post the work with the inspiring GIFs. That good idea is manifesting some serious shit-white-hot from writers you should know and will love.

Anyway... I was honored and fortunate to be invited to contribute. And here's the GIF Justin sent me to work with...

...and I HATED IT TO ALL HELL. I was pissed when I first saw it. But I sat with it. And sat with it. And reminded myself that Justin was pushing me. And hated him for pushing me like this. But I also knew that anger and that hate were all an important key. And then something happened... and here's that something, it's called "Hey There Tiger Retract" ...and I'm honestly proud of it and maybe a little scared of it (it's "horror poetry" I guess? so a little scared is natural).

Thanks, J. You knew I needed a push at a time when I was afraid I was too busy to grow. (Obviously I'm not too busy to be a little sappy.)

Now everyone, go check out Everyday Genius (everyday).

We Do More Work by 9am

Weirton, WV is getting older and I wonder if the New York Times is the last to call that state W. Va.

Samar Hassan and iconic war photography and dark days looking back, looking forward.

Google innards and retail opportunities and fair play questions. When you get struck by lightning it's not because you did something bad. Maybe you did something stupid. Or maybe you were just minding your own business.

Night after night of comic zombie onslaughts.

Day after day of little blue people harvesting regular-sized vegetables. Easter brought flowers and I love getting flowers.

Videogames in museums, arcades in basements, more videogames, and designers rush in where other designers once were.

Google all of this for more info.
And then funny faces in wedding photos,
And then do an image search for ugly fish,
And then check out my friends and search for all of them and all the wonderful things they are up to.

Adam Good asked the world how you would describe Neutral Milk Hotel's Aeroplanes Over the Sea (sorry I don't have italics at the ready right now) -- and that's the kind of morning it is.

I was going to say, "emotional," and thought that wasn't helpful or wasn't hitting enough nails on enough heads.

So I didn't say anything.

When I say say, I mean type and I mean there.
When I say the world, I mean everyone that Adam tried to friend that friended him back and all the folks that invited him first, too. And that can be enough.

Abe Lincoln said you can please all of the people some of the time.

Bill Clinton said you can please some of the people some of the time.

Jimmy Carter said there is a big world out there go find it.

Barrack Obama said we can all put bad habits behind us.

Harry S. Truman didn't say anything, because he is a dog and everyone knows dogs can't talk.
I wanted to name him President Jimmy Carter, but was vetoed.

Life is funny that way, because we just call him Truman these days and the older he gets the more he looks like Truman Capote.

The older Capote, not the younger Capote who was pretty dashing in pictures I've seen online.

Our Truman is funny looking and funny and I'm guessing he's pretty happy about life.
He's got that going for him.

Do you see this day that's shaping up, Truman?
There will be food and water and sunshine and if we're lucky there will be a giant pink poodle and a beaded elephant.
Caterpillars and giant fake caterpillars and things shaped like flying saucers.
Things that float on water.
Things that roll on streets.
Baltimore is going to treat us today, Truman.
The world is going to treat us.

The real world.

Location:Takoma Park, MD, United States